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January 18, 2010
kerk burgers
To celebrate our anniversary, this past weekend my boyfriend Rob and I took a trip to Joshua Tree, where we rented a little desert bungalow with a full kitchen and an outdoor grill. It was the perfect chance for him to make his signature hamburgers and for me to ask him to blog about them. So without further ado...
Kerk Burgers:
A guest post by Rob Kerkovich
The Kerk and his burgers.
What better way to celebrate a weekend in the desert than by eating a juicy, succulent hamburger? I still remember the first time I ever ate a hamburger… It was 1982. My precocious mother fetched some ground chuck from our local butcher and--
OK wait. Stop. I can’t do this. I’m sorry. When Anjali, for some unknown reason, first asked me to contribute a post about hamburgers, I was totally flattered. But then I remembered something. Certain reputable sources have stated that the only people who write food blogs are wealthy Asians… I’m not Asian. And I’m closer to being Asian than I am wealthy. Regardless, I said, “Y’know what? Racial stereotypes be damned! I’m on board!” And I couldn’t wait to get started.
Then, last night, we watched Julie & Julia…
And now -- now I just don’t know if I can write anything about food. Anything that would connect me, in any way, to Julie Powell -- even if it’s writing just ONE food blog post -- would make me die inside. I just can’t do it. The Julia scenes were amazing, obviously, but the Julie parts? The only piece of Julie Powell’s story that I enjoyed was when her heart was broken, Ralph Wiggum-style, once the news reached her that Julia Child kinda thought she was bullshit.
The rest of the time, she either threw temper tantrums or made the same frowny faces that toddlers make when they’ve filled their diapers. She never apologized for any of her behavior, with the exception of blogging some weird rhetorical question in which she drops that she MAY be treating her husband poorly. And the only thing she learns, the biggest lesson she walks away with, is “make sure you finish what you start.” I’m sorry, that’s the kind of thing you’re supposed to learn from one of Aesop’s fables, not from dramatic films that take themselves seriously enough to send out SAG screeners.
Wait! Now I too am suddenly overcome by wanting to draw thin connections between myself and Julia Child!
- We’re both 6’2”
- Neither of us liked Julie Powell
- I also find things “hotter than a stiff cock”
Oh my God! She’s so inspiring! I’m going to go out there and become totally self-absorbed and then my friend will call me a bitch but I’ll be cool with it! Then every time I eat stuff I’ve made in front of my friends I’m going to talk about how awesome it tastes!
I have gotten off track. Part of me wants to just stop right now and go out on a really spiteful note… But no. No, Julie Powell has taught me to finish what I started. So...KERK BURGERS!
Kerk burgers. Photo styling by Rob.
Being no stranger to self-absorption, Kerk Burgers are called Kerk Burgers because I named them after myself. Just like how I sing songs to Anjali such as “Kerks Just Want to Have Fun” and “Living on a Kerk” These burgers are my only legacy. And they’re not even that impressive so I doubt my legacy will last very long. [Ed note: Don't believe it.]
Get yourself some ground beef. We’re doing this whole sustainable thing now so we got grass fed meat from the Atwater Village Farmers’ Market. And by “we” I mean “Anjali,” since I’m terrified of farmers’ markets.
Then it’s just a matter of securing the following, incredibly rare ingredients:
-salt
-freshly ground pepper
-garlic powder
-diced onions
-Worcestershire sauce
The hardest thing to find (the Worcestershire sauce) is available in most specialty “ethnic” supermarkets. Chances are they’ll be sold out though, so just buy in bulk online.
Take a little of each ingredient and work it into a patty (I like to do it patty by patty, instead of mixing it all in one bowl). I wish I could be more specific about the amount of each ingredient, but just eyeball it. I mean, it’s salt and pepper and garlic powder and onions and Worcestershire sauce. It’d be delicious on toast.
Now, if you’re like me, you’re a little priss. So anytime you touch raw ground meat, you’re gonna want to wipe off your hands off whenever you put it down. So, do what I do, and get someone to add the ingredients while you hold the meat and bark out “more!” or “less!” It’s a great group activity. You’ll love it. You’ll feel like you’re in an 80’s commercial for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Get out the old people, it’s time to make burgers!
Once your patties are made, throw them on a grill -- preferably one that is hot enough to cook meat -- and cook them so that you can then put them in a bun and eat them. I’d give cooking times and temperatures, but I’m still trying to figure all that out every time I make these. Of course, if you read food blogs, you probably know how to grill a hamburger, or are versed enough in cooking to know how to not screw it up, so I’ll leave the whole cooking part up to you, you little gastronomical savants you…
OK. That’s it.
When he's not criticizing food bloggers or making burgers, Rob enjoys teaching cats to read Google Maps and making funny videos about babies, football and Teen Wolf.
Posted by anjali at 9:19 AM | Comments (21) | Categories: Recipe
January 14, 2010
smoked mushrooms
Smoke is seductive. It's why I love bacon, Lapsang Souchong tea, bonito flakes and smoked paprika, the dusky taste of campfires on my plate and in my cup. It's also why I asked for a stovetop smoker for Christmas this year.
The Cameron stovetop smoker
And with that, let's take a break to discuss how owning a smoker can lead to grave misunderstandings. For example, when you are in the car with your parents over the holidays and you turn to your sister and say, "I can't wait to get back to LA so I can smoke something," she will look at you like you are insane and you will remind yourself to specify what you are smoking so people won't suspect you of being a delinquent. Except that when you turn to a coworker a few weeks later and say, "I'm excited about smoking mushrooms on Saturday," he will look at you like you are insane and ask if that's even possible.
So be careful. And for the record, this is the only way I know how to smoke mushrooms.
I used shiitake, oyster and king oyster mushrooms, purchased at a Korean market for a ridiculously affordable price. The mushrooms soaked up the smoke like little sponges, softening and becoming intensely earthy. Were I a vegetarian or vegan trying to add a bacon-like note to a dish, I'd much prefer these to a strip of fake striped meat.
After bringing them to a friend's birthday BBQ, I froze the leftovers by laying them out individually on a sheet pan in the freezer until solid, then threw them into a freezer bag. (I'm addicted to doing this as a way to save ingredients. I blame my thrifty Presbyterian missionary background.) With kale, chopped yellow onion and a big handful of Pecorino Romano, they made a wonderful cold-weather pasta dish -- inspired by my friend Lydia -- and would undoubtedly be a great addition to risotto.
If you love mushrooms as much as I do, you'll also want to check out Machine Project's FungiFest 2010 starting this weekend. Mushroom gelato from Scoops! Need I say more?
Smoked Mushrooms
1 pound mushrooms of your choice
Olive oil
Salt
Balsamic vinegar (optional)
Clean the mushrooms by either giving them a quick rinse or just brushing them free of debris. Snap off and discard the tough stems (if using varieties like shiitake, cremini and portabella) and place mushrooms in a large bowl. Drizzle with a tablespoon of olive oil and a good pinch of salt and toss to distribute.
Smoke in a stovetop smoker according to manufacturer's instructions for 20 minutes, using the wood chips of your choice. (I did one batch with cherry and one batch with alder, and preferred the alder.) After smoking the mushrooms should be soft and slightly browned. If eating the mushrooms on their own, drizzle with balsamic vinegar and serve warm or at room temperature.
Posted by anjali at 7:27 AM | Comments (10) | Categories: Recipe
January 10, 2010
southland produce calendar
We Southern Californians live in a mystical land of year-round farmers markets which in the dead of sunny, 80-degree winter feature tables of dazzling citrus, local avocados and vials of unicorn tears collected by blond virgins under a blue moon.
Fine. Not quite that mystical -- but almost. All the farmers markets near my mom's neighborhood outside Seattle shut down between October and May, which to my spoiled LA ears sounded like a joke the first time I heard it. The market between October and May is my very favorite time, months of beets and black kale and crinkled Savoy cabbage. Remind me not to complain about the lack of weather and weird winter heat the next time you see me. Just say: "Meyer lemons and Oro Blanco grapefruits" and I'll get it.
Or just point to my new calendar: the beautiful Southland Produce Calendar from Krank Press, a Christmas gift from my sister Joanna, who obviously knows my love of seasonal vegetables and efficient time management. Each month features a linocut of a different vegetable and a list of what is in season, alongside a list of what to plant in your garden, all done in striking red and blue letterpress. It's a perpetual calendar, which means I'll be able to use it year after year as a garden journal, although at the moment I'm happy to just admire it on my wall.
Also cool is the fact that Krank Press is based in Silver Lake, just down the street from me. If seasonal produce isn't your thing, check out their Odd Birds of LA or Los Angeles in History calendars. Then go outside in short sleeves, just because you're in LA and it's January and you can.
Posted by anjali at 7:11 PM | Comments (6) | Categories: Gardening | Silver Lake & Nearby | Things to Buy
